Breathe in and pull!

If you’ve ever had to squeeze into a pair of jeans, you will understand.

I’ve tried to put my jeans on,  they’re just a little tight

But if you give me 10 more minutes, I’ll get them on alright

I’ll just lay down upon the bed, I know it seems quite strange

But it helps to pull the zip up, when my stomach’s rearranged

I need to use my willpower, and lose a couple of pounds

And just ignore the biscuits when they’re being passed around

But can I refuse temptation, when I see the coffee shop cake

And try to ignore the rumbling of my tummy’s empty ache

No takeaways, no chocolates, no wine, No chips for tea

I’m getting fed up already, there’s no tasty treats for me

But I’ll persevere and lose those pounds, and you know what that means

I’ll celebrate with a slap up feast, then lie down to fasten my jeans!





  1. April 27, 2015 / 09:31

    I love this blog.
    Newly washed jeans are work of the devil; my advice is not to wash them too often.

  2. Miranda
    April 25, 2015 / 14:33

    So funny! And like the first commenter said, I am still in my maternity clothes as well, but I really do need to lose these pounds! Summer’s a coming!

  3. April 24, 2015 / 19:17

    I don’t need to lie down do you want to know why? Because I’m still wearing maternity clothes
    Fab poem. You’re so funny xx

    • Nortonmum
      April 24, 2015 / 19:49

      Thanks. You’ve got an excellent reason to not even think about it x

  4. Erin @Yorkshiretots
    April 24, 2015 / 16:56

    Oh I can’t relate to this at all 😉 (guiltily finishes up her almond slice!)

  5. April 24, 2015 / 09:47

    Obviously fastening my jeans isn’t really an issue for me at the moment – strictly elastic only – but I’m sure I’ll be feeling like this in a few months time. I’ll be enjoying the cake until then!

    • Nortonmum
      April 24, 2015 / 11:38

      Yes of course, you don’t have to worry as it’s a very exciting time for you x

  6. May 14, 2014 / 20:20

    This completely and utterly sums up how I feel at the moment! Totally brilliant and totally true! Thank you for linking to Prose for Thought 🙂 x

  7. May 10, 2014 / 23:42

    Oh how I feel your pain! I absolutely adore this poem and might have to reblog it – would you mind?

    • May 11, 2014 / 14:31

      Of course not Emily, that’s a great compliment. Thanks x

  8. lisaslife1970
    May 10, 2014 / 20:49

    I guessed from the title what this was going to be about! Brilliant. I sat in Starbucks and cried into my coffee once after an unsuccessful jeans shopping trip!

    I presume you’ve seen the video that’s been filling my Twitter & Facebook timelines?

    • May 19, 2014 / 08:37

      Thanks, OMG that matches my poem perfectly, haha so funny.

  9. Judith “Makemeanearthmother” Hurrell
    May 10, 2014 / 14:56

    I think we can all relate to this one. Love the ‘tummy rearranged’ line. Great. #prose4T

  10. emilytealady
    May 10, 2014 / 06:55

    Haha I love this! I don’t think even lying down on a bed will help me now! But I do want to lose a few pounds. Just need to be strong! X

    • May 10, 2014 / 16:32

      I’m finding the ‘getting back up’ is a struggle now too : )

  11. VaiChin
    May 9, 2014 / 15:19

    Sounds far too familiar. Not forgetting holding your breath and sucking it in 😀 #prose4T

  12. Morgan Prince
    May 8, 2014 / 13:13

    Love it. Ah the love of food and treats beats us every time doesn’t it? Great poem. #Prose4T

  13. May 8, 2014 / 08:53

    Thanks, I think by the comments it’s the law to fasten that way. : )

  14. Jenny
    May 8, 2014 / 08:07

    This is absolutely brilliant. I love it. I laid down to put all my jeans on and zip them. Hhaha Glad I am not the only one. I have a hard time saying no to those coffee shop cakes. #prose4t

    • May 8, 2014 / 08:54

      Thank you, who can say no to a cake when they’re out & about.

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